In the middle of dreadful weeks...

Derita anak rantauan.

Every so often, I simply cry when the weariness and doubtful thoughts come to knock in my door of heart. 

It is when you think that you are in between of downfall and happiness, but you're not there yet. I need a booster, a vitamin, to buoy up and invigorates every dry particle that leads me to life predicaments. 

Nggak pernah terasa waktu itu cepat berlalu ya. Kayaknya baru beberapa bulan yang laluuu aja masuk tahun pertama uni. Eh sekarang udah mau lulus aja (walaupun kalo diitung-itung gw masi ada 2 semester lagi kalo semester yang ini lulus semua, amin ya amit-amit deh kalo ngga lulus #tepukkayu).

Semakin waktu graduation dateng sekilas pengeeeennn banget rasanya bisa graduate cepet-cepet, mengingat assignment-assignment yang dateng seubrek-ubrek banyaknya kayak baju setrikaan. Dimana kalo udah menumpuk malah makin males dan capeknya udah pol pol-an. Kalo udah setres-setresnya nih paling sering ngeluh, "Aduh Tuhan, kenapa tugas-tugas saya nggak selesai-selesai ya? Saya pengen cepet tamat aja deh." 

Tapi menginjak usia saya yang semakin bertambah tahun ini, mata gw seakan terbuka. Terbuka bak buka-bukaan *apa coba?

Gw mulai merasa beban-beban yang hampir ngga kuat lagi untuk dipikirin dari sekarang. Sekarang aja ngga kuat apalagi entar yang bakal dialamin ya. Dimana gw harus berjuang cari kerja, nabung, belum lagi urusan PR yang paling bikin emosi naik sampe titik didih dan titik lebur. Ya oloh mikirinnya dari sekarang sampe keringet dingin. 

Gw juga takut di keadaan dimana keluarga ngga ada deket di sekitar, ngga ada yang ngedukung ato kasi seport dari belakang. Ngga ada yang kasih motivasi belajar dan semangat lagi. Walaupun sekarang masi banyak temen-temen, tapi well people go and have their own life sooner or later. Ngga bisa terus-terusan depend sama orang-orang disekitar kita. 

Belom lagi ditambah segala kesedihan, pikiran-pikiran dan masalah yang mengganjel yang sering dateng walaupun ngga diundang. Saya sering bawa segalanya dalam doa, dan percayain semuanya ke Tuhan dan saat itu hati bisa tenang. Tapi ada kalanya dimana rasanya semuanya pengen kembali ke dulu aja, ngga berani dan ngga sabar pengin melihat gimana jalan kedepan. 

Tapi gw pengen mengubah diri sendiri yang lemah dan tetot ini. Saya selalu mohon sama Tuhan untuk dibukakan jalan, jika sesuai dengan kehendak-Nya. Dan saya masih percaya tanpa ragu, Dia akan senantiasa membimbing jalan kita anak-anakNya. 

Untuk teman-teman seperantauan yang juga merasakan hal seperti saya, jangan pernah ragu untuk selalu berdoa, karena doa adalah kekuatan kita :)

Ciao!

Only you can.

Take me where I've never been
Help me on my feet again
Show me that good things come
To those who wait

Tell me I'm not on my own
Tell me I won't be alone
Tell me what I'm feeling isn't some mistake
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can...

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow
Tonight would never end

If you asked me, I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Baby, when you look at me
Tell me what do you see?
Are these the eyes of someone
You could love?

'Cause everything that brought me here
Well, not it all seems so clear
Baby, you're the one that I've been dreaming of
If anyone can make fall in love, you can

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow
Tonight would never end

If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love

Only you can take me sailing in your deepest eyes
Bring me to my knees and make me cry
And no one's ever done this
Everything was just a lie and i know, yes, I know

This is where it all begins
So tell me it will never end
I can't fool myself
It's you and no one else

If I could wish upon tomorrow
Tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
If anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Show me that good things come
To those who wait...

(A Song by: David Archuleta)

Just another little break.

Our new collaboration with Indah. 


Tiramisu.

Hang on. I know you might think that I'm so sinful of making this dessert during the lent. But, really, I made this 2 days before the Wednesday Ash, and just uploaded the photos to my laptop today. 
Peeps, do you know that Kahlua tastes really good? I mean it's literally excellent. You definitely may want to consider Kahlua or Irish Cream in your attempt on Tiramisu :) 


And just another dinner update. 


Brown rice with red kidney beans soup (Brenebon Soup).

:) 


Ciao!

Lent.

The lenten period finally starts tomorrow, on the Wed Ash. I'm pondering what to give up this year and finally I've come to several lists below:


Meat.
The most first top of the list of food I suppose. At the previous years of lent I only gave up for not eating meat on Wednesday and Friday for which now I realize how unfaithful I was to the lenten discipline :( but now I think I can survive. Good news that I start to not crave for beef or pork these days, which means I could be a vegetarian this whole lent. Yieeyy! Been fully prepared with lots of veggies from the current groceries shopping :D


Junk food, dessert and friends.
I've been making and eating desserts since I started my life here this year, and I have been so active lately due to the sugar supply to my body I guess. Thank God that I could have a chance to give up all of those guilty pleasures and just having my green tea in my chinese teapot set. Love it!


Coffee. 
Which means no creme brulee, skinny mocha, or caramel latte this whole lent. If it works, maybe I could continue to stop consuming coffee even after the lent ends. No one knows how big my desire for coffee is, which I think I could beat the fathers who take their daily intake of coffee everyday. 


I'm still thinking. 


Still think. 


Hmm...


I really don't wanna write this word. Oh my. 
How many of you would decide to fast for the internet? Which means no facebook, twitter, or blogging for the whole 40 days. 
I do really wish I could do that, but to imagine life without internet would be living in a 10th century again (like I know how the 10th century looked like), so with my deep apology to God I decided to minimize the internet usage to the most minimum line. I'll most probably stop checking twitter and facebook from my Blackberrry commence tomorrow. 


I just wish for everyone to be more blessed in all of your efforts on this lenten period. May God be with you always, peeps! :)

The Single Gift

How blessed you are, you single one,

Don't talk of care and woes. 

You've got too much to be thankful for, 

Oh what, you'd like to know. 

It's no mistake, no misdirection

Of God's perfect plan

That you've not found your special lady

Or you, that certain man. 

God loves you so and has much more

To give than you're ever received. 

That He's giving His best to you right now,

You really must believe.

His best is Himself, do you have it in full

Or only a bit on the side.

No man can meet your needs like God, 

Nor can a lovely bride.

If your life's not complete, you know that Jesus is

And your life He will fill

If you'll only put Him first each day

And live to do His will.

He's gifted you for undistracted

Devotion to the Lord.

There should be nothing that can interfere

With Him and prayer and the Word.

Unless you let down the guard of your heart

And let others take His place,

Then you'll lack joy and peace and hope

And not experience His grace.

So give your heart right back to God,

Let Him keep it safe for you. 

And when it's better than His best, 

He'll make your one into two.

                                                                                                  Donna L. Mihura (Lady in Waiting)

Yieelooww March!

Hello March! 

The first thing I'm going to put in my to-do-list this month would be saving up. Definitely on the top of the very top of the list. 

Ah, I need to practice a lot the piano exam materials. This is insanely crazy that I should browse for those Italian terms again since the Grade 5 theory examination, like 4 years ago? I completely forgot what the tonic or plagal cadence sounded like. It's 6 months left to the examination, call me crazy. 

The lenten period also starts in the month, and I promise myself to take it seriously. This is for others and my own good, and am hoping I'll get the answer to my prayer soon :)

Study and a lot more studies should be undertaken. I'm trying really hard to get what the teacher said on my first day of uni, not like I used to be where I didn't panic to not even downloaded the lecture materials. I want go seriously catching my dream of working in the city, or at least get a good job so I don't have to depend on others for living. I perfectly know that working sucks as compared to uni, but you'll always be cheered up on the pay day, am I right? 

The ICYO Music Camp is around the corner, and everything that has been assigned to me must run as planned. Thanks for the committees for letting me to improve my cooking skill hahaha. It's a step forward to enhance the future though :P

Lastly, I've gone ice skating with friends twice! I thought I'd never touch the ice again since the closing of ice arena back home. Finger crossed for my cousins that he would willingly bring along my skates here at the end of the month (Koh, plis dibawain ya Ko plis ya Ko ya #mukakesian).

How about your March, peeps?