Notes to myself.

Sometimes I wish I could run to far away places, where there are a bunch of people whom I don't know, start new conversations and find the likeliness we can share. It's just like a whole world that is new, where you can start with anything you've ever wished to be. Having separated-over-continents families just makes it so hard to stay on the steady pace. I'm scared of being alone all this time. Well, it's not that particular 'alone' as often described as not having bf or anything. It's about being all by yourself where you are in this particular country, study, live, struggling hard to fulfil your daily need, economize on everything. I'm afraid that the time nearly comes, where I have to find a job and you would not want your parents to support your living anymore. 

Seeking comfort to myself, which I thought I've been so stupid thinking of it over and over again, even bring it to my dreams at night. Being honest to my feeling just does not help, just pretend that I am being honest. Even if you can't get over it, just tell yourself you are. You have to accept the truth, and someday you might understand and everything starts to make sense. Maybe I will just keep you in my prayer every night, wishing you are well, and let God decides. Because it is a very nice and warm feeling when I can talk about you as long as I like, only to God, every night. That is the only way to keep you safe, and I know you will be alright in His hands. 

Every so often too, I felt like I need to hide, from the reality. How you see other people's life is better and start comparing it to yours. Trying to be strong is indeed a very difficult task to do. Easily saying, but when you have reached the peak of your strongest, sometimes you still find it so horribly hard and start raining down your face with tears overnight, but thanks to God that He makes us smile again the next morning. The cycle keeps going on and it is driven back to the so-called waiting. I'm still here, being better and stronger, renewed. It is the leap of faith that keeps me standing in this solid ground, waiting someone to pick me up, waiting for the result of hard works that I've been putting during these years, waiting to be able to be with my beloved family again. To summarise, it is to get a better life, the improved one, only from God :)

Surviving the long holiday.

I spent the whole holidays doing nothing particularly useful. This really happens, where I stay at home alone while waiting my housemates come home from their work and amazingly I survive until now!

So one day I had this crappy thought of recording one of my most favourite piano pieces based on the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack, which is one of my most favourite movies at all times too hohoho. So please enjoy and pardon my amateurism in it.

Oh and by the way, the title is Dawn by Dario Marianelli :D Have a great weekend peeps!

Hear, pray, and seize.

Have you ever been in a situation where it felt so right at the beginning, but it turned out to be very out of your expectation? 

The phrase above is the highlight of my post today. It seems to us that we're likely getting certain situations under our control. 

We tend to estimate that we likely achieve what we've expected, because we are pretty sure that we have nailed all those obstacles along our way. However, those expectation obviously turned out to be your biggest disappointment, and you began to questioning God and start to doubting His power. 

It happened in our lives, where we thought God was providing the way and He opened every obstacle that got in the way to it. But unfortunately, we got it all wrong and we kept ourselves down, running away from reality.

It may not be the good answer for 'us', but it might be the best way according to 'Him'. Sometimes we wish and pray for the outcome that 'we' want, but we do not open chances for God to actually shows how He wants it to be. 

To straighten this up, we might want to consider of adding up something to our prayer, perhaps:

"Oh Lord, please give me strength for whatever the answer would be. If what I wish is not according to Your want, please teach me to accept it and never give up on You. Help me to become stronger, and show me the way that You want me to do."

Let's open up our heart, keep praying, and ask for His enlightenment. Sometimes God is being very nice that He might confers what is called miracle :)

New look.

Gooday peeps!

Just presented a new look for my bloggie, because it's new year. Does not seem like a reason indeed, but I just felt somehow the previous theme was so girlish and pretty. I did confess that I created it, though, but as the new year begins I feel more mature in quite certain areas. Ehm.

* For the first time in 2012, I become very organised in my laundry. It did happen today, as I just came back to Perth not more than a week. But it feels so good, your room does have space. I always thought my room was very small, could not even do spreadeagle on the floor. Hopefully this will keep going on every week throughout the year.

* Besides the laundry, I did some plans on weekly cooking, listing down the ingredients and go for the grocery. I found another winning method on spending my money wisely, instead of going crazy buying things, then you forgot that you've ever bought that until you found them as strangers, mouldy look.

* One more of a major improvement, is that I'm having my breakfast every morning. I used to have breakfast once or twice a week (That is why I've been told by one lecturer that I looked like a zombie every time I came to her tutorial. She guessed that I never had breakfast in the morning, and yes she got it right. Seriously, her class started at 8 am for the whole winter and I thank God I could wake up at 6:30 and caught bus on heavy rains and arrived on-time).

So, I do believe that if the Chinese says this year brings prosperity and good things, according to the animal sign of Dragon. I just wish those more improvement lists of mine can be shared here later on and not just stuck on this post for forever!

What about yours? :D

It's somewhat the beginning of good things.

Hohoho this is exactly my very first post in 2012.

Nothing much updates in the beginning of the year, except that I'm currently off from Perth, having my holiday back home.
I'm not going to list any resolutions this year, as what I have listed last year didn't work much as I've expected. So, to begin this year I will just say that hard work is all what I have to work out now.

I'll soon to be graduating in less than 6 months, which twists my feeling whether I should feel happy, or sad, or scared. I keep asking myself pertinent questions whether I could get through this or not. Some side of me said I'm competent enough to do it, you've done your best in your uni stuff, but some side of myself said conflicting matter, as like you haven't been there yet, or adult's life is entirely perplex. Oh well, I really need to try my best this time, trying hard to cover the bad-thought-side of me.

And I'm currently in Indonesia, having my best precious time with my lovelies for only a short amount of time, apparently. But I guess I have to get use to the way of how you yearn for holidays much once you've get employed after graduation. I have a feeling that this year would turn everything just finer than last year. Hope you have this kind of feeling, too, and never give up on every single faith you have :)

To start this year, let's work hard and be inspired with one of the Eastern States of Australia, so-called Sydney. I wish I could move in there and get settled someday :D

Taken at Manly Beach.

Pressies ♥

I'm close enough to the-most-wanted holiday I've been longing for this whole break. It's one more week, ONE MORE, till I blow up my savings for Christmas present for me. No one's gonna buy me a present, so I buy it myself, lols.

I've been wanting a new iPhone. I didn't know why I end up altering my phone plan to Blackberry last time. Now it doesn't work at all, and I'm using my old iPhone again. I'm thinking of getting an iPod touch, which is not a bad idea though hehe.

Anyways, I just received Christmas presents from my lovely students and it's just very impressive. I wouldn't have thought of giving my piano teachers a Christmas present before, back in Indo, guess I was a bad student in considering. 

In addition, I baked them cupcakes to give away. The funny thing that I could remember was, they were playing very nice, focussed and listened to every word I said, and that was the first time they worked out their best for the lesson. Eventually, they had seen the cupcakes on the table before the lesson, and they already had this little thought that I would give it to them lol.

It's a great feeling being involved with them, one of my best experience ever that I could have such wonderful and brilliant children here :)

Mac Cheese!

Hands up if you're sweating like crazy right now! Not even right now, it's the whole day I've been trying to survive the heat. It's a horrible christmas for Oz people over here, we can't even expect for a white christmas, or a winter wonderland. BLAH!

I'm celebrating this heat with the so loveable Macaroni Cheese. I'm dead by cheese. I can say a farewell to diet, hohoho. 

:D

Well, it's obviously close to my most awaiting moment. Mom's coming next week. Yess, it's next week finally. We'll be spending christmas together with my sister and her boyfriend this time. Will be a great time together I reckon :)

And I've been telling myself gladly that I've moved on again. It's been a hard time, but I got the better strength from Him. He answered my prayer every night, and I know something's good is about to come. I'm not talking crap here, but I just know it :) It no longer matters what will happen, and it's all just about time, isn't it? 

Well, I'm hoping you had a great time planning and preparing your Christmas. May God bless be upon us all :)