Here I am, locking myself alone in my room, no music playing, and no sunshine lighting my room. Haven't slept a wink since yesterday. Been crying all night without no one knew. Huge, never-unexpected things happen all of a sudden, which makes me unable to speak or explain anything to defend myself. I believe this is a trial from God, for me to become stronger and knowing that life is not that simple. I really never meant to hurt someone-I-love's feeling, but perhaps they're not the right words to express what I really mean. You are my friend, and you know I never meant to be fake, disrespect, or giving everything with return. I, sometimes feel offended with you and the others, but I never keep it in my thoughts. That's really who I am and I know exactly who I am.
I thank you, and always thank you for everything you've done for me this whole time since I knew you. I always care about you, about your health, about anything you mumbled about to me, and I always try to help you. Sorry if you think I didn't help or give any solves to your problems, but indeed, I've tried my very best. I really thank you, for spending your time just to help my love-life problems. And everything I've mentioned above are not pretence. That're all my true feelings towards you, and I envy you. So much.
It is up to you now, how you interpret my feelings. If you ever hated me so much, then I wanna say thousands of sorry to you. You may not think of me as your best bud, but I think of you as a wonderful and brilliant best bud I've ever had. Thanks for everything.
Love,
C.M.
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